So we put our houseguest on the plane for home this morning. It was a 6 am flight, so after dropping him off the recommended 2 hours early, we had plenty of time before I had to get ready for work. We've been talking about how we could reintroduce DD into our lives, and we were giddy at the thought of a few hours of privacy after so long without it.
I went into the kitchen for a drink, and when I came back to the bedroom I found the pillows all arranged in 'the position'. I arranged myself and braced for my first spanking in months.
And J certainly made up for lost time. My behind was tender after my prolonged rest, and the 2 short barehanded sessions (2 minutes and 3 minutes) had me howling. J told me to get up in the bed where I belonged, then lay down with me and took me in his arms. My sobs reduced to sniffles as he stroked and patted me, and I slowly began to feel again the warm, safe feeling of knowing that he had taken charge and everything was all right.
Once I was able to listen calmly, J began telling me how we'll be implementing 'boot camp'. I'll be receiving a maintenance spanking every morning, as well as random spankings through the day when he feels like it. These are in addition to any punishment spankings J feels are necessary. He will require me to show my submission to him in other ways, such as being sexually available to him on demand. We'll be working out more details of chores and routines for me (something I desperately need) as well as a few basic rules. J has promised that I will be corrected immediately now when I upset him, rather then our current pattern where he acts as though nothing is wrong while inwardly seething. Oh, and I'm not allowed to say the word 'no'; to reinforce that I take direction from him, I need to find other ways to express a negative if it's absolutely necessary.
This represents a radical change for both of us. I'm an oldest child, used to telling people what to do and acting independently. J is a typical middle child who 'gets along', always putting his needs and wants second to others'. We hope this new program will help us both develop our strengths and work on our shortcomings, and ultimately lead to a fuller appreciation of each other and a stronger relationship.
Please do keep us updated on this "boot camp" idea in actual practice. I've read about it in theory, but not from about people who've actually tried it.
ReplyDeleteSheila, I think it's great when a couple comes up with a plan of action that they can both agree on. It really sounds like you both need this jump start to get back in the swing. Best Wishes for a long a happy journey. -E
ReplyDeleteHi Sheila, I came an checke out your blog after I read a comment of yours on Clint's blog about how dd can at times look similar to a parent child relationship. I thought about replying to that comment but came here instead. I went back and read most of your posts, including this one. Gotta tell you, I am surprised that you asked that question. You and J seem to have figured out the dynamic pretty well. You don't sound like he is your parent and you the child at all. You seem to be on the same page and are continuing to grow, change and communicate. Maybe you should be answering your own question. Great blog, love your posts. Thanks for sharing your journey.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe the abuse and misogyny you consent to. What a sad way to twist the true meaning of scripture into something more fitting to Satan's plan than God's. "Help meet" does not mean an assistant to Adam; rather, an "help" (companion/partner) "meet" (appropriate/a good match) for him. You are your husband's equal and should be treated with the respect you inherently deserve.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for you and all others in domestic violence situations, especially when you are so misled to think "submission" means this. It does not. It means humility, love, and working together to improve. It does not mean corporal punishment, "maintenance" spankings, being at the selfish beck and call of a husband with no regard for your needs, etc. This is just so twisted I want to vomit out of disbelief and utter sadness for your lack of true joy and understanding.